Choosing Rest and Slowing Down: A Pathway to Personal Growth with Deborah Nude's next coaching

Speaker 1: 0:35

All right, here we go. All right, Want it. So it's so great to actually talk with you again. It has been a little time but that's because you had a lot going on over the last couple of months. I've been watching you in your postings and things like that.

Speaker 2: 0:48

Thanks yeah.

Speaker 1: 0:50

I really like the way that you you bring us along for the ride in your postings.

Speaker 2: 0:55

Thank you.

Speaker 1: 0:56

Because that really makes people feel like they're a part of your world and that's kind of important.

Speaker 2: 1:01

I agree. Sorry, I'm just having a bowl of tea.

Speaker 1: 1:04

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:06

I learned a big. I didn't have a big enough cup. Well, I think that I'm trying to. I mean, I think it's my major to want to share with people and really like, genuinely want them to. Especially when I've experienced something really positive, I want them to experience it too. So that comes through in my posting. But I'm also a little bit deliberately tried to create like a lifestyle, look Like I want people to. If I'm supposed to inspire people, I mean, I do think you have to lead by example, right, right. So I don't think a coach has to have all their figured out, but I think that they have. You know, I would like people to look at me and say look at Deb, you know she's open about her mental health, she's open about this, that, but she's doing stuff. She went to Jordan, she went to Canada. She, you know, has this lifestyle that maybe somebody would like to attain. So I do also have that in mind.

Speaker 1: 2:02

Good, good, that's actually great. You know, what's funny is when you say that I don't think you would have said that about yourself about six months ago.

Speaker 2: 2:10

Probably not.

Speaker 1: 2:14

There's been such a shift in your mindset since we started that I've been noticing more and more of lately. And even that, just even you just saying that that particular sentence, like you should think really go back and re-listen to that, just that one sentence, that first beginning sentence, because I don't think you would have said that sentence about yourself a while back. You've been. You would have been a little closed off, like I don't deserve this and that kind of thing. Now you're like not only do I deserve this, but everybody that needs to be that. They deserve this too.

Speaker 2: 2:46

That's so true, or why would anybody envy not read the right word, but you know envy my life. I mean about this problem and that and this blockage and that, whereas now there, I want to talk a little bit about some of my blockages. But yes, I definitely. I feel like I'm observing my life more from the outside now and seeing that, like holy, I have achieved things that I didn't think I could achieve and I'm just sort of basking in the joy that I wanted to achieve by bringing those things into my life. So it doesn't mean that's all roses, of course, but yeah, it's, you're right, it's a shift, for sure.

Speaker 1: 3:33

And this goes right back into raising your awareness of love and abundance, that ceiling that we talked about in our very first session.

Speaker 2: 3:42

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 3:43

And that, as you're raising that bar, as you're raising that roof, all these good things are coming into your life and raising that roof even more.

Speaker 2: 3:53

Yes, Absolutely, and I've seen that. I'll just tell you something that I'm struggling with. I actually had a. I had a. I had a pretty rough summer. It wasn't just and I don't think I intentionally mentioned in our sessions, I think, one time we had sort of screwed up the times and it was going to be seven, so that was, you know, but I think that was a good one. Um, but I really wasn't in the headspace, uh, I just felt really overwhelmed toward probably like sort of June. I think that you know, we had a lot of stuff to do with the podcast and I, I was exhausted. I I had been a really busy winter, as usual, just so much running around, so few times that I could just go sort of straight home after work and just relax, and I was really missing that. So you'd think, okay, great summer's coming, more relaxed schedule going to Canada, and it just got exacerbated. I've never been. I think I'm getting better, but to date I haven't been very good with having too much free time. So you see, like it's, it's like I don't want to be overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion, but then when it stops abruptly, I just really go take myself to task. I'm like, well, what do you do now? How do you prove worse now If you're not busy, if you're not, you know, in grind mode, how do you justify your existence? And the thing is so, this is such a you know, built in belief that we have that we have to be grinding all the time. And maybe I should speak for myself, but I think that a lot of people feel that way and also I think that when, when I have time off, I have more time with my thoughts and I have more time to listen to the negative thoughts. So I had a rough summer Also. It was like super hot and that sounds like an excuse, but it really was so debilitating I just I didn't feel like doing anything. And then I went to Canada and just my anxiety went through the roof, so that I don't think it had anything to do with Canada per se or my relatives or a family or anything like that. It's just I think that it was a whole bunch of things Like I think my menopause was in absolute, like my hormones were in absolute crisis mode. I had left, I think, going on hormones too long and I think that it's hard for me. This is something that I realized and I'm all about struggle as long as I can learn something from it, right. So I think I did learn a few things this summer and I think that it's hard for me to be on all the time and I think that, like when I go home for three weeks, I'm always with people, always and these are people that I love but guardless. It's hard for me to. I guess I'm strong used to alone time, particularly now that I'm separated and I don't even have my daughter every day. I you know, when I go home and I'm all of a sudden I feel like I sort of have to chat all the time. Again, I don't want anybody in my family. This is nothing to do with them. I just found it really hard to not have that mental downtime and so I just had a horrible brain fog and it took me about two weeks to kind of relax and get back in and sort of like actually enjoy being on vacation. I have a very hard time being on vacation. Always Like when I was young, I was like I'm not going to be on vacation. I have a very hard time being on vacation. Always like when I was younger, I would always get sick during the holidays. I would go go, go during school year, wouldn't let myself get sick, kind of thing. Of course I didn't do it intentionally. And then, as soon as the like, the pace slowed down, I got sick, I got exhausted, I got depressed. So I think that. So I'm not sure if that still happens to me or if I've somewhere in my subconscious, like if I have a fear of holidays, because that's what holidays were always about for me, right? So I'm not sure. Sorry, I'm not a fidgety, I just really think that fan on me. Okay, yeah, and. But here's another thing. So I had started going on my war bones a few weeks because I could feel it coming on before I went to Canada and within about yeah, sorry, maybe a month or so, it really doesn't matter I felt like they did sort of start to kick in when I was there. So I've been on them for like just over three months now and I definitely think they're helping, like regulating my form balls no, not as many hot flashes. But here's something that's blowing my mind. So I've told you about this brain fog and how it's, particularly on the left side of my hand, and I just feel this like buzzing and this fullness, and it's like I even went to a neurologist thinking that maybe it's a migraine. Not necessarily pain, but just like feeling like my hands in a clam.

Speaker 1: 9:26

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 9:32

And I just was it. Last weekend or two weeks ago I started to realize that my sinuses were really full. And then, just last weekend, I was like, oh my God, my head's going to explode Like this is just insane, right. So, I went my nose, ears and through a specialist this Monday and he said well, you have a sinus infection and so I started antibiotics and as I feel like all of this stuff like drain, I'm wondering if that is behind the brain fog. Like I really feel like I might have chronic sinusitis. I really feel full on the left side of my head because nobody could ever explain to me why was it more on the left side of your head? I had that operation which removed some blockages from my left nostril and I'm wondering if me those blockages sort of let or sort of letting, like removing those and letting things flow now. So I'm actually really I have really I feel really foggy right now but I feel super optimistic because I'm like what if I have finally figured out what's causing this, like true oil on the left side of my head.

Speaker 1: 10:46

Is it like from when you started to now? Have you felt a difference? I mean, have you felt any relief between now and before?

Speaker 2: 11:01

I'm still pretty full, so no, but I feel like it's hard to explain. But when I feel like the stuff draining out of my head, I do feel relief and then it like sort of fills up again and I just think it's this process of like draining. So I haven't felt any like long-term relief. But I've only been on the anti-maianids for like six days. I'm supposed to be on them for 12. And then I think we might do a head scan. If I'm not really like much, much better, when I go see him next week We'll do a head scan because you know, information can conspire in thought. The first thing I Google and the other things. I sometimes feel dizzy, and now I can really feel like one of my ears is clogged, so that you know, it just makes me feel dizzy, right, I don't feel like I can hear the same out of both ears, and so I'm just like super optimistic that maybe this is finally some sort of explanation for you know what's been going on, because that's the other thing that maybe I've even said to you. I'm not sure that I often got this brain fog when and I was not in anxiety just because I am rolled to anxiety, but I didn't necessarily feel anxious I was like, why would this come on now? I don't feel well on in my life. That would stress me out, so it could just be like a sensitivity in my sinuses or something.

Speaker 1: 12:21

Yeah, you did mention that in the last session. That we talked about was the brain fog being on the left hand side. Right, I'm glad you're actually finding even just a physical way of to take care of it. Keep me posted on that because I want to hear you know if that's working for you or not. You know, because you know you're my friend. I'm kind of concerned about you.

Speaker 2: 12:42

Thank you yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:44

And. But the good thing is you're on the right track and things are happening for a reason. Yeah, the reason why it's happening this way, and it's just we won't know what it is until we get to the end of it. That's kind of the thing. So, but keep you know, keep up on that, keep me posted on that. I appreciate that.

Speaker 2: 13:02

Thank you, I will. And I'm, just as I said, I like super optimistic because when I started to feel better in Canada, this whole trip to Jordan was very last minute and I sort of said to myself, when I get back from Canada I'm just going to sort of see, because I was supposed to be leaving a few days later but I hadn't taken it right for like that, and I felt really clear and optimistic and, as I said, clear headed, confident. So I'm not really sure why it goes in waves like that. So I went to Jordan and I was for a better month. I was just, yes, this is me, this like this optimism, this feeling, like I just like the world with my oyster. I've got so many opportunities, so many things to look forward to, and then energy and all that stuff. And then, as soon as the brain fog sets in, I immediately start the downward spiral Spiraling. Am I supposed to be a coach? But if I don't have it to your head, how am I? It just brings me down, it really brings me down. And so and that's sort of where I am right now Like I'm much better at managing, I still do stuff, I get stuff done. I just don't enjoy it as much because it'll help as clear of a head. So, yeah, so on the one hand, I'm optimistic that maybe I finally put my finger on at least a contributor to what's going on, but it's really frustrating being in it. Yeah, but it's okay. Yeah, I'm just yeah, I will definitely get you posted and I'm going to insist like, if I don't feel really good by the time I go see him next week, I'm going to insist on getting an MRI and just really see what's going on in my head.

Speaker 1: 14:48

Okay, that's probably a good idea.

Speaker 2: 14:51

Even my. Yeah, like I'm just sorry I keep flinging my hair because I'm just so hot, even my vision is a bit blurry, like on the left, like I just feel like I feel like there's this clogged area where, you know, there are the nerves of my teeth and everybody's teeth, you know they. They go right up to your sinuses, right. So, I've had sensitivities. I feel like my optic nerve is being pressed by this. Well anyway, I just I hope it's a physical issue and not a psychological. I really don't really get to psychologically.

Speaker 1: 15:27

You know, and you know what I was thinking about too is you know how a lot of times you'll have like, oh, I'm going to kind of turn this into kind of a physical thing? You ever noticed that if you have a weight in your hand, and you have it in your hand for a really long time, a drop that weight. You feel like you're a lot more free in this hand. It feels like lighter, even, or something like that. I think that's what's happening with you, right, you're having this pressure and things are going on, but now that things are starting to come up a little bit and you're fighting the physical ways, once that actually all goes away, you're going to go a million miles an hour.

Speaker 2: 16:01

God. You know, from your mouth to God's ears. I I wrap. I think it's time and I'm not going to lie, I just I even. I mean, I'm a spiritual person anyway but I was. I just sat down this summer and I just prayed. I was like, please, whatever God means to you or anyone, I need this to stop. Like this is not I don't know, yeah, what I was supposed to learn from this. I'm open to learning. Maybe it was supposed to just delay me, for you know, in pursuing my goals, absolutely fine. God knows better than I do. But I'm really ready for this to end. I need your help, god. I need. I really don't want to suffer with this anymore. Please tell me what I can do and you know that was just like an extra, like whatever that. I guess, it's like it was me surrendering was like I'm just, I am so done with this brain fog. I understand when I was going through, you know, my temporary, when I was going through the criminal case. I understand being foggy because that's just full on anxiety, but now it's like there's, I have no room in my life for this. It needs to go so. So that's the thing for me, you know, to at least feel like I have some sort of power to say I like, months ago, years ago, and you know this, I would have been more in a mindset of oh, you see, I can never be happy. I got out of the marriage I was like I'm not done with the criminal case, but now I have this effing brain fog. You see, it's one thing after the other. You see how I was never supposed to achieve my goals. You see how misery is for me and not happiness. But now I don't feel that way. I did this summer. Now I'm like, no, this is, we are pursuing this until it's gone because I have to do.

Speaker 1: 18:04

It's like this is just one more thing to push you along. It's just to yourself that you can get over this hurdle and this and still be able to do what you want to do. Yes, because once you get over a certain amount of hurdles, once you get over a certain amount of time, that's when you're going to take off, and I already feel that happening for you. I really feel this is probably the one last thing that you have to go through to finally be able to be fully yourself. But you have to go through these experiences first. It's kind of like this is this is the price we pay to be who we are. Right, I mean, and instead of thinking it like I'm never going to accomplish anything, think of it like this is, this is what I have to go through to become who I am. You see, you know, yeah, it's a horrible price. We all pay a horrible price in one way, shape or form when we're going through this. How and I said this in our last session too it's how we take these things into ourselves and and move them into something that's forward, that's positive you know instead of just kind of laying down and say, okay, I'm never going to get over this, get over this. Why are we going to go for this? How are we going to get over this, and what kind of person am I going to be after I get to the other side of this? That's what we need to think about.

Speaker 2: 19:18

That's exactly it, and I think that what part of this test is about is like, I think that when I used to get it in the past, I would avoid maybe going out or avoid posting or avoid this or avoid that, and now I don't let it have that kind of power over me. I might rest a little bit more, but I'm like I, you know, I'm still on this call with you, I'm doing various things and at the end of those things, I'm recording my podcast and working and all that stuff. And I think that I'm proving to myself by doing that and you see, okay, it wasn't super comfortable for you, but you still nailed it. So, you know, nothing can sort of keep you down, kind of thing. All right, I would be much happier if I didn't have it.

Speaker 1: 20:06

Well, of course, but you know there's going to be a point where you don't. And then see what, what Deb does from there.

Speaker 2: 20:13

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 20:16

Absolutely All right. So I wanted to go over a couple of small things from our last session over into this session to see any, if you know, if there's been any progress since then, and that kind of thing. So one of the things we talked about was and we kind of touched a little bit on already is your scheduling and self scheduling to be able to accomplish things? Yes, yeah, okay, have we done any work on that at all?

Speaker 2: 20:41

I have to be honest and I'm glad that you brought that up because if it's sometimes, I feel like I haven't accomplished anything and then, when we sort of put it like that, I'm like, hey, I actually haven't worked on that, so, yay, okay, what I'm? I think I guess I'm doing two things. I have a tendency, or had an attendency, to get very overwhelmed, like to wake up in the morning and just not that same. I have to do this, this and this. Today, just like yeah, like I can't, like I can't see the forest with the trees, like I just all I know is that I'm overwhelmed. And now I'm working on it for a few months and I'm getting much better at saying no, today, you, whatever, you have these 10 things to do today. All you have to do are this, this and this, three things. The other things can wait until tomorrow or next week, and that you know that does not be paid until I don't know when. So I'm, I am breaking my, my overwhelm down into smaller, more manageable chunks. So that gives me, it makes me feel like I can actually start, because when you're over, when I get overwhelmed, I'm like well, I'm paralyzed, I can't even start doing anything, whereas when I break it down, I'm like, okay, this is kind of probably doable. So I, I start and I do the three things or whatever it is, and then, and then I have the extra bonus of being able to, at the end of it, say, you see, you accomplished your goals. So I can give myself like I can congratulate myself too. So that's what I'm, I'm getting better at that. I'm getting better at like this might not know it, I don't want to give that example I'm getting better at saying no to other things.

Speaker 1: 22:38

Yay, that's a big one, it's a big one, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 22:42

I really weigh, like, okay, we're just more important, and I mean genuinely important, not what's going to make me feel like an amazing grinder, like what do I? What do I genuinely want to get done for myself today or tomorrow? And I'd schedule around that and I allocate time for that, and and I'm also observing I'm not perfect at all this but I'm also observing how much time I waste, which is, you know, probably not a lot, but even even an hour a day is a lot. I mean, I can get a lot done in an hour a day. Um, you know, it might be scrolling on my phone, or that's sort of the only example. It's like, okay, it would be more productive to even sleep and get some rest than to just mindlessly be on my phone. I mean a little bit of scrolling. Everybody does it, no big deal, but I've caught myself doing it quite a few times and I'm thinking that there's something behind that. There's some. That means something. I'm avoiding doing something or I'm looking for something. I'm scrolling. What am I looking for? Some sort of validation. Did somebody like my post? You know, and I'd rather like. I find that a little bit like passive activity. I'd rather be doing active things Does that make? I don't know if I explain that very well.

Speaker 1: 24:18

No, no, it makes perfect sense because I mean, before I started everything when I scrolled, I just scrolled. I have no idea what I'm looking for. I just want something to entertain me Exactly Something to get me to laugh or something to get me to think, or something like that. It's not anything that I really want, just something I'm looking for. Self-validation is a big one too. A lot of people look forward to just like you're saying. You know, looking for that like or looking for that repost or whatever. Now, now what I do is when I do find myself scrolling like that, instead of just scrolling, I'll actually respond to other people. Okay, yeah, and then I start liking and commenting at other people's stuff. The reason I want to do that now more than anything, it's because the algorithm will pick me up doing that and start sending out more of my stuff, and I learned that recently, as part of the algorithm, is being social on the social media, which means you liking, you reposting other people's stuff and things of that nature. So, instead of just scrolling mindlessly, I'll look for a reason to repost or I'll look for a reason to respond to something. I'll look for an actual reason to like something, not just like everything because you know that's what it is. The algorithm will pick that up and start pushing your stuff out more because it's realizing that you're participating in things.

Speaker 2: 25:40

Right, right, right. Okay, you're going to find that so true. So if you find, yourself.

Speaker 1: 25:44

if you do find yourself scrolling, do it with a purpose. Okay, Just mindless, you know. But okay, Anyway, go ahead.

Speaker 2: 25:54

No, yeah, so I think that I am giving better breaking my time down into chunks, magical chunks that I can achieve. As I said, I'm noticing where I'm wasting time and I'm saying, no, I'm setting boundaries. Yeah, I think, yeah, I think that's kind of what it comes to. Okay, I'm trying to start things a little bit earlier, but before I get overwhelmed, yeah, I think that's pretty much what I've done. Okay, that's good, that's good, that's all positive things.

Speaker 1: 26:35

So you know, keep going on that, you're going to start falling into your groove. I mean, just keep working on that and you're going to be able to do that. I mean, just keep working on that and prioritizing yourself to the things that you know have to be now. Do now and then things that aren't like necessary right now, push them off to something you know you can handle a little bit later. That's a great idea. That's really important, because if you get overwhelmed like that, you're going to just go and to paralysis, just like you were talking about, where you just don't want to do anything because you have 10 things you want to do and I find myself doing that sometimes too, so it's not just you. I said yeah, so, but yeah, so you're on the right track there. I'd like to know also how you've been improving on your self-talk, because that's something we talked about on the last session too.

Speaker 2: 27:29

Okay, I again I have improved Like just being gracious with myself, like even just having this sinus infection, you know, just sort of sitting and relaxing even, just like my face muscles and my head muscles and everything I might do. That now that, since I've been diagnosed with this, you know a half an hour or so a day and instead of being like, oh, my God, you're just wasting time, you know you should be doing this, I'm like this is my health. This is, I deserve to prioritize my health over anything else. So I think I'm just being more gracious with myself. I'm prioritizing myself. I mean I do. I don't know I feel like I talk pretty positively to myself, but I do. I'm. I've got a girl on board helping me a little bit with marketing, because I don't know about marketing, and this is specifically the coaching for my, the business that you're helping me launch, and so, just you know, she has me looking at sort of potential competitors, and so I'm looking at all these coaching sites and trying to figure out you know, what I like, what I don't like, what I want to use. And I did find myself I did that a lot this weekend and I was like, oh my God, there are so many coaches out there. Like, who the hell am I? Yeah, like imposter syndrome. Yeah, like why is someone going to come to me for coaching? There are so many coaches out there. They're probably so much better than I am, so much more experienced, this that. So I did. Yeah, my self-talk wasn't great, but but then I, you know again, even just this morning, I was like there are at least 50 people out there dead in this world who need your services, your specific services from you. Yes, you and I, for instance, you know we could be offering the same packages, but somebody is going to jibe better with you and your chemistry. Someone's going to jibe better with me and my chemistry. So I, I believe, you know, I just I sort of convinced myself that no, I do have to be good at what I do, but there's absolutely space in the coaching rules for for me.

Speaker 1: 30:06

Well, you have. You have one resource. That nobody else has.

Speaker 2: 30:10

What.

Speaker 1: 30:10

You.

Speaker 2: 30:12

I like that.

Speaker 1: 30:13

Yeah, right, and that's going to be the thing that drives people to you, is you?

Speaker 2: 30:19

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:20

And that's one thing. That's one thing I've always kind of thought about too, when I see things like that, yeah, everybody has their own thing. Yeah, there's all these great coaches out there, but you're you, and that's going to be one resource that you have. Nobody else will ever have, right? So there's nothing wrong with looking at other people's stuff and that kind of aspect, but at the same time, oh, did I lose you.

Speaker 2: 30:44

No.

Speaker 1: 30:45

Okay, there we go, Did I? No, I no, you're right, Okay, but but you know, keeping it back your head too. I'll use this for inspiration, but I'm not going to compare myself to these people, Because that's right, because that's what people are there Right. So keep that in mind when you're. There's nothing wrong with looking at other people's stuff. I actually do that every once in a while if I have the time. But, yeah, I mean, just be careful about that. You don't need. You didn't need to go into post or send Jimmy, you need to go to a search and you got to remember at yourself. We're researching, we're not comparing.

Speaker 2: 31:17

Exactly exactly, and you know I there, you have to. You don't have to reinvent the wheel, like if you see, if somebody does something, they have an approach that you like, do it. You know, like it's not stealing. You could like I mean that wouldn't steal someone's program, let's say, or a specific package. But, for instance, I'm noticing that some sites this is just one example are very wordy. I don't know if I have a particularly short attention span, or everybody has a short attention span, but I was like one thing I know that I don't want to do is have a lot of words in my website Like I need bullet points, you know, quick, easy, so it's figuring out what I want and what I don't want. You know, there'll still be my material, but just or, or. You know some of them this isn't a criticism. Everybody's different. Some of them are really like gold ganners and like you know you're, we're going to create this bullet proof, this and this, this, and I'm like this is not me. That's fantastic. It's just not me. I'm a softer person and I have. Therefore, I will attract softer people and that's okay.

Speaker 1: 32:32

Sometimes it's good to look at these things and know what not to do.

Speaker 2: 32:35

Exactly, you know exactly.

Speaker 1: 32:40

So I mean and you're right, I mean look at these things as if you were your own client, look at it as your avatar and say if I, if I was my own client, would I look at this and be attracted to it? No, it's too wordy? No, it's way too exciting, or it's whatever it is. You know actually, yeah, so what have you attracted to that? Oh, which probably means my client wouldn't be attracted to that. So I want to do something a little different than those. So, yeah, you're on the right track on that, so keep that up.

Speaker 2: 33:11

Thank you, yeah, I think it was a good move.

Speaker 1: 33:13

All right. So one other thing I want to touch on real quick before I get into something else is your questionnaire. So I would like to know how you've been doing your questionnaire. You're shaking your head. You're scaring me a little bit.

Speaker 2: 33:28

I mean I think that. So like I think I said it to three or four people that I was quite optimistic, would be interested in feeling, you know, having a little bit of feedback on it. Nobody was interested. They said they would, but then they never got back to me and I didn't want to push and then so I posted something in the beginning of September and of August or something where I said you know, if anything like me, september is like a time for new beginnings and new goals and stuff like that, if anybody you know feels the same way and need the hand, I have this questionnaire DM me if you're interested and I coupled it with, I think, a half an hour free like consultation on the questionnaire, and then they could decide if they wanted to keep working with me or not. No bites, facebook and Instagram. So now that I'm researching other coaches, what I'm thinking is that they all get a week freebies, like the there's any group you join or any. Yeah, anytime you approach a coach on Facebook or whatever they're like. Do you want me to sell you this free? You know self-sufficiency improvement journal that I've come. Everybody gives away a freebie, so I'm thinking that that might be my freebie. My point is that I don't think it went to waste.

Speaker 1: 34:50

No, and actually that's what I was hoping you'd come up with is it would actually be your freebie.

Speaker 2: 34:54

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 34:56

Yeah, so I would definitely use that as your what I call a lead magnet. Is it get people's information, that kind of thing? Yeah, because ultimately it's going to give you the information you need to coach them properly.

Speaker 2: 35:11

Well, and then?

Speaker 1: 35:12

you'll get a chance to get an email from them to put them on an email list.

Speaker 2: 35:17

Exactly.

Speaker 1: 35:18

So keep pushing it. I think keep pushing it Instead of just posting it once. Post it like two or three times a week, if you can't. I mean, make sure you work it into your schedule that way. And I know you went on a couple of podcasts. At the last time we talked you said you, you're a guest, you're guesting on another podcast. Did you get an opportunity to do that? I did.

Speaker 2: 35:41

I was disappointed. Actually, this guy has, like I don't know, 190,000 followers on on Instagram. So I was really excited about, you know, getting like reaching an audience of that size. And he had said that one of the other women that he interviewed for his podcast had, you know, received DMs asking her to speak and appear on other podcasts. And I was like, wow, like, even if I get two or three bites, this is fantastic. Oh, anyway, we've recorded. He lost the recording. Fine, not fine. It was a little bit dismayed but I ended up recording again. We recorded it, we released it, he released it and he I was wondering why he wasn't promoting it on Instagram. I mean, he did a little bit like one or two posts, but I know that with his previous guests he had done quite a bit of promotion. And I said what's going on? He's in. Every time I try to post something and tag you because I am trying to promote it, it says that you're like um, what was it? What was it? Like I'm a for-profit profile or a commercial profile or something, and it won't let me tag you or something like that. So we tried all these different things. It didn't work. I posted a little bit. I don't think he was purposely not trying to post about it, but I do think that where there's a will, there's a way, like I think that he could have figured out some way to post. I was like, just don't tag me, just I'll find it, I follow you, I'll see it, just let other people. I don't need to see it, everybody else needs to see it and listen to the episode. And people have listened to the episode. I mean, he told me that I can't remember how many, but it had been heard by quite a few people, but nobody contacted me. Um, again, nothing is a waste. Um, and the thing is that when I do get my website up and running, you know I'll be able to post links to these various interviews. So that's content right. So I don't consider any of it a waste. But yeah, so the answer is yes, I did do it and no, it did not yield any sort of business value for me.

Speaker 1: 37:59

Okay, yeah, so um, I'm sorry to happen that way. Yeah, but let's not let that get us down.

Speaker 2: 38:06

No right.

Speaker 1: 38:08

Well, I think you should continue on trying to get on other podcasts. Um, that's definitely going to be a uh like when I, like I said before, it's probably going to be your biggest push, even though you didn't get much out of this particular podcast, even though he had quite a following. Um, I really feel, just just keep pushing. Right, you know um, promote, promote the um episode in your links, promote it in your whatever you need to do, but, uh, keep looking. I think at this particular point this was just a an experience thing where, hey, I got to do this, this is how it works. Okay, now I'm ready for the next one.

Speaker 2: 38:49

Exactly, and I think that you know the more like I really don't think that anything goes to waste, like telling my story, telling mine. This is something else that I've been thinking as I've been going over people's website and stuff. Like I think that you said this is one of the first things you said to me that I have a crazy relatability and I've just been so much that there are people, um, one of my, one of the advantages is that people will be able to relate. The people know that I walk the walk. Like there's no question that I'm definitely not an academic. I don't know this stuff from academia, from books. I know this from it, reminded it in my life. Um, so again, I'm. You know, some of the the sites I'm visiting are, like, not relatable at all. They don't give, show any sort of vulnerability, like I've been there too, you know, let's work together and stuff like that. Um, no idea why I, oh, I know. So I think that I think that, like any opportunity I have to keep telling my stories and getting sort of a relatable profiling out. There is a good day Right.

Speaker 1: 40:00

Good, yeah, yeah, just keep. I mean, just keep pushing, just keep doing it. That's what you just get over those hurdles as they come and then use it all as experience to get to the next level, and you're doing the right thing. Thank you, yeah.

Speaker 2: 40:12

I think so too, all right.

Speaker 1: 40:16

So what I like to talk about now is what your next, your plans are for the next uh things you want to work on. I mean, what do you want to work on right now? What are your goals for the next couple, say, a month or so, month or so?

Speaker 2: 40:27

Okay, Uh, firstly, parentheses. Hmm, I need the. I wanted to text you but I didn't. I, the bottling agency, has contacted me since I was a kid. They contacted me three times.

Speaker 1: 40:42

Really.

Speaker 2: 40:43

Yes, uh, like July and then August and then September. And I guess what happens is that they they say to their client you know, we've got this, this, this model. And so they they say to me, can we put your name forward? And I say yes, and then they put me and whoever else to work, you know, forward to the client and the client chooses. So far I haven't been chosen, um, but I was real. Remember, I thought that I had burnt that bridge because I had I'd have an issue in voicing Um when I get to them is that you know, if a job comes out, I will figure out how to invoice it. Like I will sort of, I think at the end of the year when I will close our fiscal year, I'll declare myself differently to the revenue office and I'll be able to to issue invoices. But my point is that I just got really, I was just super happy that they're still considering me and that they still see that potential Um. When I said um, I said you know, if you feel like I need to take new pictures, if you feel like my pictures aren't, for whatever reason, um being liked by the clients, I'm totally open to that. Like no, it's, it's not that at all. This is just the way it goes, like. This is what everybody does. You know. This is how it is for everybody. In one day, you know, somebody will want you, so that's good.

Speaker 1: 42:01

Yeah, it was one of the things that that, when you said you burnt that bridge, I was like maybe you know, I didn't want to counter cause you were kind of in a in a soft state at that point, so I didn't really want to, you know, dig deep into it. But that's good. I'm glad you're still kind of in that game. That's really really good, cause you were really passionate about that when we talked about it.

Speaker 2: 42:25

Yeah, I just want to see what it's like. I mean, I might do it once. I think it's the most horrible thing I've ever done, but I really want that to be in my garden. I'm like no, I really want to see if this can be not necessarily a career, but just like. I mean, as you know, um, like, what are my goals? Right? This ties into your question. Like I want to be, I have like short-term goals and long-term goals. So I know that my income right now is not enough. I want, I need, to find ways to supplement my income. So the modeling is that sort of short-term thing, like it's just ways that I can get a couple hundred dollars here and there to something that I think I would find enjoyable and supplement my income. So fantastic Win-win. And then, uh, building my coaching business too. And then the long-term goal is to like stay in my current job and coaching modeling as well, but within the next two years I'm not saying waiting two years, but like within the next two years, be able to leave my job and have a full time online coaching business that supports me even better than my job done. And what is key for me is being geographically independent, and that's the online part. Like I want to be able to be in Greece when I need to be in Greece. Being Canada, when I need to be in Canada, go to Jordan when I need to go to Jordan, come visit you when I need to visit you, like I just so. My goals are to make to earn more I have some numbers in mind annually and to be geographically independent. Those are my two goals. I'm not saying independent, those are my two goals. Ultimate goals for the next two years.

Speaker 1: 44:23

Okay, Real quick. I want to point they just kind of hit on something here real quick. You say these goals and I'm glad you have these goals in your head. Do you have them anywhere written out where you could see them on a daily basis?

Speaker 2: 44:40

No, but I know it, I know I have.

Speaker 1: 44:43

I know, you know, I do, but I've written it.

Speaker 2: 44:47

No, hold me to it yeah.

Speaker 1: 44:51

I get that, you know and it's in your head and it's 100% I understand, but it's not real until you write it down and put it somewhere where you see it day to day. So I don't know if you saw my poster or not, but I posted with a piece of paper on my wall saying I'm going to quit both jobs by January 1st 2025. And I have that right above my bed. So when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I see is that Okay, yeah, I right. When I open my eyes in the morning, I know what my goal is. It's the first thing that's in my head, right, yeah, so it's not real until you set a date. You could say it's two years from now, but you've got to set that actual date and that's why I put January 1st of 2025. I've given myself a little more than a year to put both of my full-time jobs aside and help people like you.

Speaker 2: 45:50

Okay.

Speaker 1: 45:51

Perfect, so I wouldn't suggest doing that. You don't necessarily have to put it next to your bed like I did, but you know, put it somewhere where you know you're going to see it on a daily basis and put an actual date on it.

Speaker 2: 46:03

Okay, I want you to hold me accountable for doing that.

Speaker 1: 46:09

Okay.

Speaker 2: 46:10

So one thing for you to say I would suggest that you do it because you're a nice guy and that's the way you talk, but I also need to. I need a little bit of a like a fire started under my butt sometimes. So will you be the fire under my butt, jesse?

Speaker 1: 46:25

That's what I'm here for. That's what I'm here for, absolutely. Yeah, that was a little promo clip there you go, I'll make sure to clip that out, okay.

Speaker 2: 46:41

The fire under my butt. This is the first thing that I'm taking today, so I need so my goals visible daily.

Speaker 1: 46:52

Have a date.

Speaker 2: 46:53

Oh, yeah, and have a date. Yeah, like I can tell you, it would be 30th of June. What is it? 23, 24, 24, 25. So 25. 25 is going to be a big year for us, jesse 30 years, 30 years.

Speaker 1: 47:11

Yours is in June too, june.

Speaker 2: 47:13

Yeah, yours is in January, though January.

Speaker 1: 47:15

Yeah, I'll do mine, then you and I'll help you do yours after.

Speaker 2: 47:19

Thank you.

Speaker 1: 47:20

Okay.

Speaker 2: 47:22

And something else I vision boards have always worked for me, Always Well, anything I write down and study every day works for me, and I even like I don't really have a lot of magazines that I'm not. I don't really like online stuff, I'm still like a paper person. So I actually took the time. My mom has tons of magazines. When I went to the home I ripped up all our magazines, with her permission, of course. I brought home would be a whole stack of pictures that meant things to me, whether it was about, you know, increasing my income, money, whether it was about like sort of the aesthetic I want my life to have. Anyway, so I've got all those cuttings. I just haven't sat down. I've been all for over a month, Right? Yeah, I also want you to be a fire under my butt to make my vision boards for the next time we talk.

Speaker 1: 48:16

Okay, here's what I want you to do. Okay, I'm going to help you with that, okay. I want you when you read one of those and I want one read at least once a week. Next to me, the text me what you read and learned about.

Speaker 2: 48:33

But Well, these are vision boards, so I would have to make like a collage with my image.

Speaker 1: 48:38

I get that, but the idea here is for you to actually set a waiting of month to start reading it. This gives you a set time that you sit down and actually read one and then regurgitate the information to me so it sets in your mind better.

Speaker 2: 48:55

Okay, so once a week for the next month I tell you sort of what I've got on my vision boards and I'm saying what I'm.

Speaker 1: 49:03

What you actually tell me about the article that you put in the vision board. Okay, and tell me that you actually started making the collage. Thank, you. If I don't hear you from you by Friday, then I'm going to text you and say hey, hello, you know.

Speaker 2: 49:19

So yes, yes, I, you respond well to Brent's.

Speaker 1: 49:27

Brent's okay, Well, okay.

Speaker 2: 49:31

Yeah, don't be too nice to me, okay, okay, weekly updates, vision board. Okay, perfect, something else. I know that we're not. I'm not as I can answer your question, but just a few things are coming up. Yeah, I told you that I've got a four or five small assignments still to do to get my coaching certification Right. Now, I don't think that having the certifications to be all or end all. But I do think it's a shame like I got this far and should get that piece of paper.

Speaker 1: 50:07

Yes.

Speaker 2: 50:08

So I was also going to ask if you could both be accountable for, for doing those assignments, which really isn't easy because there are no. The assignments themselves aren't easy, but when you've got a podcast and and you know, it's just like my free time. I don't have a lot of free time, so I feel like if I don't, if I'm not accountable to somebody, I won't do it.

Speaker 1: 50:29

Okay. So when it comes to this and I've actually started doing this too is, on a daily basis, at a specific time of day, spend 15 minutes doing something that goes towards one of these things, even if it's only 15 minutes. And then what you want to do when you actually sit down with that, with those 15 minutes, set a timer for yourself for 15 minutes so you know when to start and stop. And then, when that timer goes off, if you feel like you can continue, continue. But if that alarm goes off and you don't feel you continue, then you have permission to stop. Okay, all right, because a lot of times you'll keep going and then the then you're like oh, I got to keep going because I have to do this, I have to do this. The alarm gives you that permission to stop because you've taken your 15 minutes to do whatever it is you're trying to accomplish.

Speaker 2: 51:18

Okay.

Speaker 1: 51:19

So yeah.

Speaker 2: 51:20

I think I've heard of that method. Yeah, all right, so, and I'm going to say that my ultimate goal is, by Christmas, to have them all done and submit, submitted.

Speaker 1: 51:31

Okay, by Christmas you want to basically have your certificate.

Speaker 2: 51:35

Yes.

Speaker 1: 51:36

Okay.

Speaker 2: 51:37

Yes, god help me.

Speaker 1: 51:39

Okay, so we're, that's what we're going to do. Then we're going to make sure you have your certificate by Christmas.

Speaker 2: 51:46

Okay, so certificate and.

Speaker 1: 51:53

What's the date?

Speaker 2: 51:55

Yes, the 25th of November, you're annoying, I know right. Be careful, what I wish for? 15 minutes, same time Daily. Same time Daily. Okay, and I'll just write permission to remember what you said. Yeah, okay, all right, but your original question was what am I doing to achieve my goals? Like, coaching.

Speaker 1: 52:30

So what actually do you want at this particular point? I mean, what is it that you want to have? I mean, we actually got through a lot of it. What you actually want to have in the next month or two, you know, working on your certificate and doing the follow-up, working on your collage and that kind of thing. What else do you want?

Speaker 2: 52:54

I want to have, I mean, I guess, three paying coaching clients by the end of the year.

Speaker 1: 53:12

Okay, good. I think reasonable it say so you have the tools to do that. So how are we utilizing those tools to accomplish this?

Speaker 2: 53:35

Well, the first thing that I did, as I said, is I'm working with this marketing person. So I'm hoping that's going to be, because I really I don't know how to market. I don't know. I don't feel like just posting Seriously, for me it hasn't worked yet, but just posting hasn't gotten to any traction, like I'm even giving stuff away for free and people are biting. So I, you know, like one. She suggests a few things that she works on is like creating like a Facebook group. That's where you get a lot of interaction and whatnot. So I guess my the one thing I'm doing to implement this is working with this marketing specialist, and then I don't know what else to do. I really don't like what park from posting. I mean, I've worked on my website. That's something I'm always on the back of my mind, that's it.

Speaker 1: 54:43

Okay. So going on to other podcasts is going to help. We talked about that, right. So let's concentrate on that, Okay? Also, when you do get any kind of feedback about any of your stuff, make sure you refine and you listen and refine, because eventually you're going to get that one thing that gets. That's going to take off. I really don't think the questioner is going to take off right off the bat, Right? It's not going to be. What you're going to do is you're going to start getting a couple of people. You're going to get some feedback, then you're going to reiterate, then get some feedback on that one until you finally hit the one that takes off. This is not going to be something that's going to. That's going to be an overnight thing.

Speaker 2: 55:22

Right, no, no, no.

Speaker 1: 55:24

So don't treat it like it's going to be like that, but you want to still actively look for people to coach.

Speaker 2: 55:31

Yes.

Speaker 1: 55:32

So, you know, when you, when you go into these groups, some of the people that you might have already contacted, maybe you can say, hey, I'm giving away a free coaching or something like that. Or you know you're like you can. If it's somebody that you come across and say, hey, I want to be a free coach, and they say no, just tell them that's okay. But if you have a friend that you think might want my services, give them the free coaching instead, since you don't want it. Okay, yeah, and you might get somebody that way. There's a couple of ways to do it. I would definitely research that as well. What kind of things you can do to actually start bringing in some people to to coach me. Something in the back of your head to think about, for sure, because that's my, that's my big problem right now.

Speaker 2: 56:21

Like I have a lot to learn about coaching, but I feel like I have to get my hands dirty. I need clients to to do that. Like I feel like my biggest thing right now is that I haven't jumped in not actually coaching anywhere, but I do actually offer the coaching to. I would say who do I offer it to? I always give women. That might be limiting myself for no reason, but this is the other thing. I don't even know what my feel is, what my marketing feel is.

Speaker 1: 56:59

So, yeah, that's what you need to do Exactly Now. You just figured it out.

Speaker 2: 57:05

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 57:07

You need to work on an elevator pitch or you need to work on a just a pitch in general on how to talk to people about, you know, accepting a coaching. I tell everybody I'm a coach, no matter what they are doing. You need Whenever I DM anybody or anything like that, if I get even that little twinge that need help with a little teeny tiny bit of something, hey, I can help you. Would you like a free coaching? It's a $700 value I'm giving away for free. Who doesn't want a free $700 value?

Speaker 2: 57:37

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 57:38

You know. So that's kind of how I do it.

Speaker 2: 57:41

Okay.

Speaker 1: 57:42

But I didn't work with you.

Speaker 2: 57:44

I mean, it worked with me.

Speaker 1: 57:46

Well, that's how I got you. That's how I got another coaching client I have recently Mikhail. I have another two coaching clients that I've done recently that one might actually turn into a pay client by September.

Speaker 2: 57:59

Wow, amazing.

Speaker 1: 58:02

To October, december, what do you say? November, yeah, so you know, and that's how I'm doing it and I'm talking to people. People are accepting Great, you just got to know where your audience is.

Speaker 2: 58:17

Exactly.

Speaker 1: 58:19

So Okay, all right. So we're going to have three coaching clients by the by when?

Speaker 2: 58:28

The 31st of December there you go. Okay.

Speaker 1: 58:32

We're going to have. We're going to have our coaching certificate by the 25th of December 23. And we are going to be fully job free by the 30th of June 25.

Speaker 2: 58:47

There you go, All right.

Speaker 1: 58:50

So now we have, now we have solid goals that have dates. So we know, you to know, we got to push for those dates to be met.

Speaker 2: 58:59

Right.

Speaker 1: 58:59

Yeah, so I think that will push you along a little bit, and then I'm going to put the fire under your butt, like we talked about to get a lot of these things accomplished. Okay, yeah, okay. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about today?

Speaker 2: 59:13

No, I'm just going to write down my the website thing.

Speaker 1: 59:16

Okay.

Speaker 2: 59:17

Want to do that? Okay, no, those are generally the first things that came to my mind. I can't think of anything else right now.

Speaker 1: 59:30

Okay, that's good. I want to make sure that we schedule our next coaching a month, not three.

Speaker 2: 59:36

Wow, wow, next what?

Speaker 1: 59:39

I've come to that it should be working now. I was having some problems with a couple months ago, but it should be working now. Let's do it right now. Okay, go ahead. Left to my own.

Speaker 2: 59:51

This is our rules.

Speaker 1: 59:53

While you're doing that, I want to hear three takeaways, just like we usually do, three takeaways from our coaching session today.

Speaker 2: 1:00:00

Dates, specific dates. Oh, there was something you said that I liked and I can't remember it, but it'll come to me. Yeah, that there's no question that this brand song will go away. It's just a matter of time, because it's like I believe you when you say it, so that means a lot to me, so thank you for that. Yeah, and just the repetition, the daily repetition of my goals and my vision and all that stuff. That's stuff I know, but I still need someone to remind me Right, or to get to the forefront of my brain.

Speaker 1: 1:00:56

The analogy I've been using lately, for that is every 15 minutes. It's a snowflake, those snowflakes build up to be a snowball and those snowballs build up to be the snowman. Very good. Right.

Speaker 2: 1:01:08

So that's like a snag, a wing, I'm stealing that.

Speaker 1: 1:01:12

Okay, so that's kind of the analogy I've been using. I don't know why, but it just seems. It seems to work.

Speaker 2: 1:01:17

So I like that snowball coined by Deborah Nude.

Speaker 1: 1:01:23

Okay, alright, and what's the one thing we're going to do as soon as we get off the call here?

Speaker 2: 1:01:32

Well, my net deployment within the month? Well, in about a month's time, and sit down for 15 minutes and work on my certification.

Speaker 1: 1:01:43

There you go. I like it.

Speaker 2: 1:01:45

All right, I'm going to go ahead and stop the recording.

Speaker 1: 1:01:48

Okay.